"Gratitude is the key to happiness"
Thanksgiving is on its way here in America. My perspective of this holiday has drastically shifted over the years. It started when we lived overseas in cultures that of course didn't celebrate it.
I thought it was funny though when the Americans we knew would all get together to celebrate Thanksgiving. Of course we would invite our friends which were from all over the world. But it was especially funny to me celebrating Thanksgiving with my English friends.
What I have extracted from this holiday is the obvious - a day to celebrate thankfulness with others. It is a day dedicated to gratitude. I love that even more now because of how much I understand what gratitude actually does for us.
The roots of the holiday are really not as admirable as they preached to us growing up though. And for that I have mixed feelings about celebrating the holiday. For the colonists it was a day of gratitude for abundance and aid from the Native Americans. But for Native Americans..the abundance of this holiday has not been equitably passed down. In some ways it is a reminder of loss for them.
Wendy Red Star is a talented artist that communicates this in her art. She uses humor to communicate deeper meaning...which most often hits harder. At least it did for me.
So I will extract the gratitude aspect of the holiday and emphasize that...I can't fix the past. But I can acknowledge that the roots of this holiday have a lot more layers to them and be open to learning more. Then by learning more it will help adjust my perspective and choices to be more equitable. We all need help with that.
Gratitude.
People are starting to catch on to the reality that gratitude is medicine. Gratitude journals, jars, mantras. Gratitude heals the attitude. I just came up with that just now. Ha! That sounds uber cheesy but isn't it true?
When I catch myself getting upset about something or feeling overwhelmed about another, any time I'm self-aware enough to catch myself and then begin to think about how far I have come, or the ridiculous amount of memories, people, and even things I am blessed with...whatever I was upset about usually sounds stupid. It makes it sound like I'm a whiny and complaining brat. As a mom of young kids...I definitely know what that sounds like and it makes me wince like nails on a chalkboard. Want to hit my frustration button? Whine.
Whining and complaining is a complete lack of gratitude. What is there to really whine about? We have running water from multiple faucets in our home. We have a roof. We have heat. We have walls. We have AC. We have people that love and care about us. Anything beyond that is extra special in reality.
My husband Nick is really into watching the show Alone. If you haven't seen or heard of it, it is a reality show where people are dropped off separately in an off grid place with only their clothes and 10 items. The object is who will survive the longest...alone.
Just watching it reminds us of the bare necessities required to live. It is not always easy finding drinkable water or starting a fire or creating a shelter...or warding off pre-hibernating bears. As the more clever survivors live on, you see their unhindered gratitude when they can just catch a field mouse, or find a slug...or find just about anything edible to give them sustenance to survive.
And here we are watching this in our cozy living room on our plush couch, drinking hot cocoa next to an unlit fireplace (because we have heat from another source). Having trouble finding things to be grateful for? Just watch this show, or learn more about 3rd world cultures...that will boost it without a doubt.
Comparison is not the thief of joy...
I used to have a sign in my house that had the phrase, "Comparison is the thief of joy" written on it. I now disagree. I believe jealousy is the thief of joy. Desiring something you don't have that someone else does, steels your joy. But comparison can actually be a giver of joy. Just watch Alone. Or admire Wendy Red Star's work The Last Thanks which humorously provides a sharp comparison for your eyes.
What is the gratitude effect?
When I take time to really think about the things in my life that I'm are grateful for, I see the effects of what gratitude has on my attitude. It lightens the load. It elevates your spirit. It sparks joy. Think of even the most basic things like. "I got a new toothbrush. There was a patch of sunshine today. I like the way my socks make my feet warm. My car started. Oh, I have a car! Coffee is great. My kid smiled this morning and even better, they got ready for school on time."
Gratitude turns what I have into enough. And really, more than enough.
I have a an unbelievably long list of things I am grateful for...especially this year, 2023. Nick and I had a lot of huge goals and we just went for them. We had a good amount of time a few years ago that were really difficult. But I am grateful for those years too. Because comparing ourselves and our lives today to how things were then, makes me enormously grateful. Those years, pushing through, brought us to where we are today. We didn't quit. We pivoted and let the haters hate. And we are way more happy now.
Gratitude is great. It is the switch in your soul that dissipates complaints.
Happy Thanksgiving!
